Beer ‘N Golf

PLEASE, don’t judge me because I owned this club for 36 hours. There’s a long story behind it and I won’t have your attention for much longer so I better make my point. Game Improvement Clubs have their place in the sport. But you should only be playing a club like the R7 Draw if you don’t care enough to take the time to fix your slice. I understand the desire to magically fix your game, but from experience, Game Improvement Clubs limit your game in the long run more than they help. I’ve been playing the same Nike Slingshot OSS knockoffs (that I stole from my neighbor’s wife 2 years ago) and I still suck. As far as the R7 draw, it does what it’s supposed to; It pulls slices back into play. In the end though, if you’re trying to BUY a better game……… you’d be better off buying me a new set of clubs. At least then, you would actually feel good about spending 2 grand on a set of clubs. Ok, you’re right. I would feel good about YOU spending 2 grand on a set of clubs. In the end isn’t that what it’s all about?
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When it comes to marketing, Nike has the rest of the golf community by its balls…………. Give it a second…….. The really cheesy jokes take a little longer to sink in……. That’s why I pay myself the big bucks. I’m the funniest writer this site can afford. Don’t tell my boss, but I would have paid to have this job. Ohh, I guess I need to get back to the balls (thats what she said!!!)Focus! Nike. Karma. Golf Ball. As you may or may not know, the quality of ball doesn’t mean jack s*%t to me. All I care about is what the ball “says” to me. Meaning, how does the ball focus my ADD brain on what I need to do. Nike’s Karma reminds me that what goes around comes around. The Karma keeps me calm and focused, knowing that if I’m good to my Karma, then my Karma…. WILL STILL F%$*KING GO WHEREVER IT DAMN WELL PLEASES. I HATE this game!!!!!
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Balboa 9 is a quasi-executive 9-hole course that desperately wants to impress it’s big brother next door. With 5 par 4’s, it hardly can be classified as executive. This is a great course to hone your skills at your lunch break. Personally I think the 9 hole is generally in better shape than the 18.  This par 32 almost makes you feel like you’re playing a real course, but then you remember that the Men’s course is next door. For once I really don’t have any complaints. We’ll rate this as a Coronita, because you’ll regret not going for the full size.  (more…)

I know everyone raves about hybrids, and I used to do the same. But I lost it. I completely lost my ability to hit my hybrid. Since I have been pleased with my Hi Bore XLS driver, I thought I’d give the 5 wood a try. The only way to describe this club is consistent. It cuts through the rough just as well as it hits off the fairway. It is very controllable, and finally allows me to hit a draw. I don’t like spending 200 on 1 club that’s not a driver, but I actually think this club may be worth it.
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This is my third driver in the last 3 months, but I think I’ve found my true love and if it’s anything like my first two wives,  It’ll leave me broke and homeless. But I have a feeling that this one’s different. It’s been almost a 2 months, and she’s still being good to me. What I am really enjoying is the consistency. Ohh Yeah… It might be good to let you know that I have the 9.5 with a stiff shaft. The XLS has done an excellent job keeping the ball down out of the wind. It allows me to “shape” my shot better than some of the others I’ve tried. The wide clubface makes it very forgiving. Overall, I think I’ve got a winner. Of course, I will continue to spend my hard earned unemployment compensation to make sure I can give you reviews on all the latest equipment. (more…)

TaylorMade has introduced their second line of balls, trying to capitalize on the success of their recently rebirth of the Burner line. Mew, I love the Burner. But the Burner has always been known to be long and strong. That is still true and is the idea behind the new Burner ball’s technology ” Low-Drag Performance”. Ok I’m fine with that. however when I stand over my ball teed up ready to rip one down the middle I like for my ball tell me what it’s going to do. Noodles say “Long and Soft”. Nike Juice remind me to hit a “Ginormous” shot. When I look down at the new Burner, I am confused by the initials of the technology. “LDP”??? Name it something like  ”Minimal-Drag Performance” so that when I look down at my ball, it doesn’t make me wonder if I grabbed the wrong box and am really playing a ladies ball. I know its all mental, but I don’t need my ball asking me why I’m not wearing a skirt, or why I’m playing from the men’s tees. I need my ball’s to lie to me and tell me I am a MAN. Ok now this is just getting weird. The burner is decent new ball in desperate need of  a new name for it’s technology. I can’t say much else for how it plays, because I haven’t gotten past the mental barrier yet.

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I’ve only played 2 rounds at Morgan Run, but that is more than plenty of experience to review it. Morgan Run is not a course designed for golfers. Morgan Run is designed for rich SOBs that don’t know what a couple hundred dollars should buy at a golf course. The course is flat and open. It is well maintained, and the location makes for some great golfing weather. But there are few other redeeming qualities to the course. If Morgan Run was located anywhere other than Rancho Santa Fe, they wouldn’t be able to charge a quarter of what they do now. To their credit, they have an excellent selection of beer including 4 or 5 local microbrews.On that note, Morgan Run is the Miller High Life of golf courses. They may claim to be the “Champagne”, but the caliber of their customer suggests otherwise.

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Carlton Oaks is in my list of courses that I really need to play again before giving a full review. But I always enjoy reviewing a course after playing only 14 holes in the windy stormy weather of San Diego in February.I really need to start checking the weather before booking my rounds. Hell I didn’t realize it was raining until I hydroplaned into that motorcyclist on my way to the course. But being the dedicated golfer I am, I couldn’t let a little rain or a minor hit and run keep me from playing a round on my day off. I showed up to the course and as I walked into the pro shop, I hear the manager exclaim “your kidding right?” I’m no pansy. A light breeze and some sprinkles aren’t gonna stop me. So looking like Greg Norman in a hurricane, I head out to play my round. The most surprising thing I noticed is that the course is rather wet. I don’t mean like morning dew damp, I mean like soggy, raining all night, saturated wet. But this is Santee, it never rains in Santee. Anyways, the course is laid out similar to Bonita with side to side fairways.  Carlton Oaks is well designed in the fact that it has the same natural landscape of a course like Bonita, however at Carlton Oaks, there are very few flat fairways. The fairways are generally narrow and a few feature long “natural” bunkers that span most of the length of the hole. The groundskeepers were just as surprised by the weather and had forgotten to turn the sprinklers off. Everything was soaked already but looking up from my putt on #9 to see my cart and bag getting sprayed by the sprinklers still didn’t feel good. I guess the guys in the pro shop noticed, cause when I came in to warm up and eat some breakfast before heading back out, They apologized with two sleeves of free balls.On 13 I start getting frustrated at the steady stream of water that is falling from my hat onto the top of my ball as I am putting. I guess thats what I deserve for having perfect form. After finishing 14, I figure I have seen enough.Until I can play in the sunshine, Carlton Oaks  ranks in as a Michelob Ultra Amber. I think I might actually like it if it weren’t so damn watered down.

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Carmel Mountain Ranch is a challenging semi private country club that has done a good job keeping higher standard than most courses. The property was designed to be a private country club and is evident when you drive up to the clubhouse. The clubhouse is designed somewhat like a southern plantation, with the rich white folks inside sipping on a sweet tea while the……Nevermind… Moving on….. One thing lacking between the clubhouse and the first tee, is a driving range. Luckily the I15 is close enough to get in a few practice shots and keep from having back pressure. A well placed shot into the #3 lane can keep the freeway stacked and the course empty for hours. The course is designed to test your shot making ability with well placed hazards, narrow sloping fairways, and difficult par 3’s. In fact I need to mention #15, a 220 yard par 3 with a fast green and 2 bunkers placed below the hole right around 200 yards. You will need your drive of the day to put it on off the tee. Why a drive you say?? Oh did I forget to mention the 3o yard climb in elevation that makes this hole play closer to 275. Oh yeah…. to make you feel better, #16 is the #18 hdcp hole that makes you feel like your 12 year old son on an exciting friday night at Family Fun Center, as you try to navigate the three tiered L-shaped green. You should get the point by now. What I have to congratulate CMR for is the integrity of play. Most country club type courses that are this challenging, do everything they can to open the course to every Tom, Dick, and Harry, by offering course books and GPS to make it easier than designed. CMR, while equipped for GPS, still requires to get yardage the good old fashioned way, keeping a higher caliber of clientele. I know that eventually CMR will fold to the pressure of new technology, but there is something to be said for keeping the integrity of the original design of the course. Carmel Mountain Ranch rates as a Stone Ruination IPA, because you’re never quite ready for that first hit.  (more…)

Seeing how close I live, I really should play Balboa more often. I try, but it’s not always easy to get on. I guess one of the downfalls to being homeless is that most courses don’t let  me play shoeless with my clubs I made out of broom sticks and dead pigeons. When I have been able to sneak on, I have been surprised by how challenging the course really is. The course is not always in the best condition, but I think that the condition adds alot to the character of the course. I don’t think a course like Salt Creek would look right in Balboa Park. The course is narrow and forces conservative play. It’s a local favorite, and it shows when you try to walk on. The tee time reservation system is ridiculous ( touchtone system for Balboa 18, Balboa 9, Mission Bay and Torrey Pines) but fitting as the course is managed by the city. Balboa Park is a Ballast Point Big Eye IPA. Usually overshadowed by their more popular relatives, but surprisingly can hold their own.

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