Beer 'N Golf

Twin Oaks Golf Course

Beerngolf Editor — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 00:14:46 +0000

A couple of weeks back, the BeerNGolf crew suited up in our matching pinstripe knickers to sponsor and play in a tournament benefiting an outstanding charity, fightald.org. Now I can’t say with a good conscience that we here at BeerNGolf actually participated to benefit the charity. We really are genuinely sometimes quasi-decent people, but when Stone Brewing Co is the main sponsor and kegs will be on the course, we would sponsor the National Suck-a-Dick Foundation’s disc golf tournament at Sun Valley with our mouths agape in anticipation. (for the beer of course!)But, on this glorious, mostly heterosexual day we were sponsoring Fight ALD’s tournament at Twin Oaks so let’s discuss the course, and by discuss, I mean you reading and me writing . So, if you didn’t already know, Twin Oaks is located in the “Sunshine” area of north San Diego, San Marcos. If you plan on playing Twin Oaks without kegs of beer available, you might want to think about getting in an early round, as it gets toasty and sober quicker than you can crap kittens. The course is a good blend of everything you like at other courses, which makes you change your strategy every couple of holes. The course is a little dry but is well maintained. The weirdest thing is the greens…. They seem to have smaller holes and invisible breaks. Now I will admit that I was a little plastered and played the back nine with a putter I found in a bunker that strangely resembled a big back scratcher. But I guess that’s the beauty of a scramble. And boy! it was a damn good scramble! Stone KNOWS how to sponsor a tournament! Dollar Beer! Yeah!…. you heard me, DOLLAR BEER. And we aren’t talking about your typical golf course selection. We are talking about straight outta the keg, Port Wipeout, Green Flash IPA, Port Amigo, and Stone Pale Ale. I know, your probably thinking 8oz dixie cups half full with head. NO! As you can see from the picture below, It was 12-14oz cups or “Dump out your still full 32oz Gatorade, we’ll give you a bottle of water to rinse it out with and refill it with 32 ounces of pure heaven, and you don’t even half to pay for it, because it’s technically a suggested donation!” … How I am alive, I could not tell you. But I sure wished I still had that gatorade the next morning.

Welcome to BeerNGolf.com…

Beerngolf Editor — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 16:56:27 +0000

Most sites will ask you to ‘pardon the dust’ while their website is in development. Here at beerngolf.com we take pride in our dust. We want you to experience our dust, because we think we have pretty damn good dust. Our dust is our history and legacy, and we want you to be a part of this. We don’t give you a page with a clever little animated construction worker. We give you what we’ve got, tyops and all. Check out the site, sign up for our mailing list, and go have a round on us. Damn lawyers!! Apparently we can’t blatantly lie to you, so go have a round on yourself. Cheers!

Brewbakers 6 pack

Beerngolf Editor — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 20:02:21 +0000

Normally I would review each beer individually, but since I tried them all in a sampler, I figured I’d pass along the review in the same fashion. Now for those of you who don’t know where or what the f#*k Brewbakers is, don’t feel bad…… In fact feel good that you haven’t spent any considerable time in Visalia, CA. Now, for a brewery in the middle of nowhere, I was rather impressed. They had six beers on tap and 3 homemade sodas. Now being the father of frugality, I noticed that a pint of beer was $4 or I could get the sampler paddle ( Not platter, PADDLE!) with 5oz samples of all 6 beers and all 3 sodas for only $6. Now about the paddle. The beer was served on what I can only describe as the paddle that my parents used to spank each other with. (they really must have been naughty, cause they spanked each other way more than they ever spanked me)But we are here to talk about beer, not my childhood. so here’s what they had.3 of the beers were exactly what you would expect them to be. The hefewiezen, the apple “beer” and the raspberry apple were all very predictable.The others were a bit more exciting.Brewbakers’ Honey Wheat Ale made me feel as though I was prancing in a field of daisies. If there was ever a quintessential Spring beer, this was it.They also had an IPA worth mentioning. So I am mentioning it. Brewbakers has an IPA.Now….. On to the flagship of the Brewbakers family. The Sequoia Red was one of the easiest drinking reds that I have had in a very long time. It renewed my faith in red ales, and reminded me why I love my job. It drank almost like a brown but with that very distinct roasted red feel and taste.So….. If you find yourself driving through or for some god awful reason living in Visalia, check out Brewbakers and try a paddle of your own.

Lost Coast Downtown Brown

Beerngolf Editor — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 19:21:56 +0000

Eureka!!! I finally found a Brown Ale exactly like every other brown ale. I have come to the realization that brown ale is like an American Lager. The only difference is that brown ales are usually made by decent hard working people. Ohh yeah, and they taste good. Other than that, the label will usually tell you what to look for. For example…… Raspberry Brown Ale- look for a raspberry flavor…….Hazelnut Brown Nectar- hazelnut… get the point? ok good. Now I know that some of you are going to be livid that I said every brown taste the same. I understand … but go grab a bottle of this and you will agree….. I promise….. If not, just think of this as a very clever marketing campaign.

Bonita Golf Club

Beerngolf Editor — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 00:12:39 +0000

AHHH, Bonita…… Rarely does a course come around that actually embraces all of its deficiencies and doesn’t try to disguise them. The course is situated in Bonita Valley just west of the Sweetwater reservoir on the flattest piece of land imaginable. While most courses would break out the shovels to create at least a few feet of elevation change, Bonita embraces it’s flatness in a way that would make Kiera Knightly proud. In all fairness, Bonita does live up to it’s claim as the best course in bonita. It is a pretty nice track that reminds you why the game is so fun. The straight tree lined layout makes this an easy course to score on. Sadly, the milfage factor is limited to the adjacent jogging trail, so unless your willing to run for it you won’t have a chance to score with any locals. Bonita ranks in as a Coors Light. It’s not very hard, and you always seem to have a good time, even when you’re not scoring.

Sun Valley “Golf” Course

Beerngolf Editor — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 23:35:47 +0000

YES… I know that I grouped Sun Valley in the beer section. It is intentional and here’s the reason why: There is no way you can call this a golf course. I have certain standards that determine whether I am at a golf course, or whether I am passed out drunk in the alley behind Hometown Buffet. As I recall, Sun Valley is more of a beer than a golf course. Here’s what I’m thinking. —1974, La Mesa, CA. There’s not much to do. So you take a hit of acid and turn on the TV to watch the last round of the US Open. Four hours later………. Sun Valley is open for business. Ok. It’s a small stretch, but it’s actually a decent beer. I lost my temper, I drove home, and beat my wife. I don’t know how that can’t be labeled as a beer. Really though, Sun Valley needs to close the course. The greens are made of asphalt and the rest of the course gets mowed once every 2 months. It has a decent disc golf niche, and it should focus on that.

King Cobra Malt Liquor

Beerngolf Editor — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 04:13:08 +0000

Ok …. I know what you’re thinking. The same thoughts ran through my head. Why the f**k am I buying this? Well…. Ill tell you why. I am a smart rational man. I finally realized how much money I have been wasting on my liver. With how much money I’ve spent in the last year on good beer, I could have done 10 times the damage to my liver if only I had known the magical potency that $1.69 could buy. Now, I haven’t actually drank it yet, But the economics alone are reason enough to make the switch from good tasty beer to homeless alcoholic malt liquor. At $1.69 for 32oz of Smooth tasting premium malt liquor with 6%ABV, that comes out to $0.88 per oz of alcohol. Even Arrogant Bastard at only $3.59 for a 22oz at 7.2%ABV equals $2.26 per oz of alcohol. You can see why my day job is in accounting. (And by accounting, I mean accounting for where I left the remote last.) Enough with this money bullsh*t, I’m gonna go try this heavenly concoction………. Yeah….. I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for wasting the last 13 sentences of your life. I have very quickly come to the realization that money can buy you happiness, and it takes much more than $1.69 to buy happiness. Let me put it this way. What came first? The King Cobra or the poverty? All I can say is that you’re screwed either way. Learn from my mistakes and stick with the good stuff. There’s plenty of good (even decent) beer to choose from.

Pyramid Apricot Ale

Beerngolf Editor — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 01:58:33 +0000

Rarely does a beer come around that makes me feel like a pussy and love it. If there has ever been a beer that belongs in the wine cooler section, this is definitely it. But then again, the bottle clearly states that this is a malt beverage, and not a beer. I shouldn’t even be reviewing this since this is BEERngolf.com, but I have already downed 3, so what the hell. This is one of the better tasting ‘flavored’ ales. Many flavored ales are either too subtle or too fake tasting. Pyramid has nailed the flavor of apricots in this “beer”. Actually, I can’t say that for sure, since I haven’t had an apricot since I was 10. With the little memory I have left, I’m pretty sure that this is what apricots tasted like. I should be embarrassed, since that last apricot I had was only 4 years ago, but I’ve been hitting the bottle pretty hard lately and can’t remember much. Ohh well, can somebody pick me up another 6 pack of this yummy ale. My fake ID got confiscated last weekend at On Broadway.

Stone 11th Anniversary Ale

Beerngolf Editor — Fri, 30 May 2008 23:23:38 +0000

They say the 11th anniversary is the darkest of all, because the newness is gone and the next big one is over 14 years away. But then again, they also say that the CIA is following me. Regardless of what the voices in my head say, they were right about that anniversary thing. Stone’s 11th anniversary ale is the darkest they have ever had. This year it’s an India Dark Ale, that really makes you wonder why more companies don’t make these. It has the bite of an IPA with the roasted flavor of a porter. In typical Stone fashion, they have loaded it with enough alcohol to inebriate a small cow. 8.7% should even keep most alcoholics happy. By now (May ‘08), 11th anniversary is pretty hard to come by, but there are a few places that still have stock. Email me at jared@beerngolf.com if you want to know where. But please make sure not to tell anyone that you’re contacting me. I really don’t want any of you dragged into this CIA investigation.

Redhawk Golf Course

Beerngolf Editor — Thu, 29 May 2008 05:42:59 +0000

Normally, a round of golf in Temecula might as well be in Rockport, Maine. I’m not willing to drive that far nor can I afford the gas to get there. But today is different. I just got my tax rebate, and I plan on stimulating more than just the economy if you know what I mean. I started by stimulating my gas tank to the tune of $4.15 a gallon to make the journey to what I’ve been told is the second hardest course in the San Diego area. The problem with most difficult courses is that they flaunt it by creating holes that are intimidating both to play and to look at. This usually creates a miserable round that stimulates thoughts of suicide. Redhawk is special in that the staff, the grounds, and the course are so friendly that it is hard to have a truly bad day. The course is designed to test your shot making as well as your decision making. It rewards smart aggressive play and punishes stupidity. Most of all, the course tests your putting. My theory is that the course architect was tripping on some acid while designing them. There is not a single easy putt outside of 6″ on the entire course. The best example is #4 which is a par 3. The green is around 40 yards that is 4 tiered and slopes easily 15 feet from back to front. The facilities have a very strange mexican village theme which only makes sense because it’s Temecula. That’s the downside. The only downside. Words truly can’t do the course justice.
Redhawk is like Stone’s casked Smoked Porter brewed with vanilla beans. You wonder where it’s been all your life and how you can enjoy it every day.